txt me: a modern day tragedy

The perpetrating purse in this story is a hell of a lot cuter than the one pictured above


On Saturday night, somewhere between the gin drinks and sloppy speech, the unthinkable happened: my purse deleted all of my text messages. How my grandmother's vintage Coach purse could do this to me is unimaginable. And the proceeding emptiness I felt for my bygone text messages is unexplainable.

Before I am accused of being dramatic, text messages are our modern day love letters. Texts are how we tell our loved ones how we feel in 10 words or less or ask the curious, "where u @?" They are our professions of love, propositions for sex, our zany anecdotes.

Before this tragic event, I had over 100 text messages saved. I'd probably have more saved if Verizon would allow it. I had lol-able statements from friends and photos of my sister's new haircut and greyhound dogs my friend spotted in Brooklyn. I had soundbites from a Nicki Minaj song and Lady Gaga quotes. Simple statements of love, lust, and longing; memories preserved in my little LG "Glance".

I don't know how it happened, but I was too drunk at the time of the tragedy to realize the severity of the situation. But when I woke "the morning after", I knew something terrible had happened. I woke up to a plate of crusty ketchup, egg yoke and half eaten bread and looking at my phone, where it had once said "Inbox (136)" it was now nothing but an empty inbox. My heart sank. I kind of felt like Jo March in Little Women when Amy burns her novel, except I was betrayed by the fickle nature of modern technology, not my bratty little sister.

Maybe I should get a flip phone (but seriously, who has a flip phone anymore?) or maybe I should get a sophisticated handbag from TJ MAXX with a "cell phone pocket". Maybe I shouldn't get so drunk. Or maybe I shouldn't harbor memories in a piece of plastic with the "samba" as its ringtone. I guess it could be worse- I didn't drunkenly text someone inappropriate. Instead, I deleted a whole bunch of inappropriate drunk texts. TTYL.